The Horrible Advertisement Hall of Fame

You know a bad advertisement when you see it

It sticks right out to you-and not for a good reason- because it is just so horrible. Let’s have a look at some advertisements that just made us say “what did I just watch?” and encouraged us to live under a rock for the rest of our lives.

Head-On- I.E “are you rubbing a chapstick on your forehead?”

This advertisement is like having a conversation with somebody who knows exactly 7 words of English. The conversation would probably go something as follows:

I understand you apply your product, Head on, directly to the forehead, but what is it exactly?

“Head-On; apply directly to the forehead!”

Good to know, but really, what does this do?

“Head-On; apply directly to the forehead!”

Alright… but is it some kind of chapstick or something? Does it have magical healing properties? Can it bring Tupac back from the dead?

“Head-On; apply directly to the forehead!”

Are you trying to give me a headache? So I can buy your product? So I can make you rich? Huh? Yeah?

“Head-On; apply directly to the forehead!”

ARGHHHH! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE! GET OUT OF MY MIND!

“Head-On; apply directly to the forehead!”

Doritos- I.E “Tracy Morgan likes to walk around in footie pajamas while coddling his pet snake and imprisoning hoards of gerbils in plastic balls” 

Can somebody please make some sense of this advertisement for me? I understand Tracy Morgan is the quirky type, that being his appeal on 30 Rock and all, but really please explain to me what is going on here.

So he’s in his strange looking house, wearing footie pajamas, “doing what he does” talking to gerbils with spicy Doritos? So footie pajamas + gerbil hoarding + Tracy Morgan= spicy chips? I don’t think so.

Windows 95- I.E “the largest offense of every stereotype, ever”

“Welcome to Windows 95, where we will take your cultural identity and make a mockery of it until you cry!”

This advertisement is like a horrible combination of those cheesy drivers-ed videos from the 80’s and a low budget introduction to Spanish “immersive video,” with a little bit more horrible some and ethnic stereotypes thrown in the mix for good measure. I dare you to watch this for five minutes and not start using a pseudo-accent out of insanity.”Oui Oui?”

So what were these companies thinking when they produced these er- monstrosities? The world may never know.

But, there is one thing I do know. I think I need some Head-On.

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